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The Awareness of the Call

. . . for necessity is laid upon me; yes, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel! —1 Corinthians 9:16

We are inclined to forget the deeply spiritual and supernatural touch of God. If you are able to tell exactly where you were when you received the call of God and can explain all about it, I question whether you have truly been called. The call of God does not come like that; it is much more supernatural. The realization of the call in a person’s life may come like a clap of thunder or it may dawn gradually. But however quickly or slowly this awareness comes, it is always accompanied with an undercurrent of the supernatural—something that is inexpressible and produces a “glow.” At any moment the sudden awareness of this incalculable, supernatural, surprising call that has taken hold of your life may break through—”I chose you . . .” (John 15:16). The call of God has nothing to do with salvation and sanctification. You are not called to preach the gospel because you are sanctified; the call to preach the gospel is infinitely different. Paul describes it as a compulsion that was placed upon him.
If you have ignored, and thereby removed, the great supernatural call of God in your life, take a review of your circumstances. See where you have put your own ideas of service or your particular abilities ahead of the call of God. Paul said, “. . . woe is me if I do not preach the gospel!” He had become aware of the call of God, and his compulsion to “preach the gospel” was so strong that nothing else was any longer even a competitor for his strength.
If a man or woman is called of God, it doesn’t matter how difficult the circumstances may be. God orchestrates every force at work for His purpose in the end. If you will agree with God’s purpose, He will bring not only your conscious level but also all the deeper levels of your life, which you yourself cannot reach, into perfect harmony.
-Oswald Chambers

We cannot boast in our feeling or passion for Jesus..
From the Screwtape Letters:
“The great thing is to prevent his doing anything.  As long as he does not convert it into action, it does not matter how much he thinks about this new repentance.  Let the little brute wallow in it.  Let him, if he has any bent that way, write a book about it; that is often an excellent way of sterilising the seeds which the Enemy plants in a human soul. Let him do anything but act.  No amount of piety in his imagination and affections will harm us if we can keep it out of his will.  As one of the humans has said, active habits are strengthened by repetition but passive ones are weakened.  The more often he feels without acting, the less he will be able ever to act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel.” Chp. 13
via (Part of The Vinehttp://part0fthevine.tumblr.com/)

And even once that love and passion has become too much to hold in that it overflows to everyone around you, we cannot boast in our complete obedience to Jesus...
"When you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.'"(Luke 17:10) This is a profound statement and utterly devastating to the last vestige of pride. Jesus says, no degree of obedience, from the worst to the best, merits any absolute claim on God. A perfectly obedient human should say-it would be part of his obedience-"I am an unworthy servant". That is, "I do not put You in any absolute sense in debt to reward me". This conviction is the root of humility-that we deserve nothing good from God. Everything good that we get from God is mercy. The joy of the humble does not reside in being deserving but in receiving mercy."
from Piper's What Jesus Demands from His Disciples

We have nothing in ourselves to commend us to God, apart from His Holy Spirit, which is a seal and a promise.

vigilant listening

"Listening is to be cultivated and renewed each day. Our lives are too full and active to automatically allow for a natural flow of attentiveness. We cannot run through life and expect that we will hear what stirs deep within us or notice what begs our attention without regularly adjusting our listening antennae. God is present to us in the scriptures, the life of the church, our work, prayer, people, events, and nature. Not a person, place, or a moment is left out from divine revelation. Something of value for our growth is always being made known to us in the midst of our ordinary lives. This revelation stretches far beyond and much deeper than how we usually perceive life. Our spiritual development depends on our being alive and vigilant enough to hear the message of transformation that weaves through our daily existence."
-from Open The Door, by Joyce Rupp

"Listen to me; be silent, and I will teach you wisdom." Job 33:33

"And now, my children, listen to me." Proverbs 8:32

"I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My beloved is knocking. 'Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one," Song of Solomon 5:2

"Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known." Jeremiah 33:3

"Wherever we turn in the church of God, there is Jesus. He is the beginning, middle, and end of everything to us...There is nothing good, nothing holy, nothing beautiful, nothing joyous which He is not to His servants. No one need to be poor, because, if he chooses, he can have Jesus for his own property and possession. No one need be downcast, for Jesus is the joy of heaven, and it is His joy to enter into sorrowful hearts. We can exaggerate about many things; but we can never exaggerate our obligation to Jesus or the compassionate abundance of the love of Jesus to us. All our lives long we might talk of Jesus, and yet we should never come to an end of the sweet things that might be said of Him. Eternity will not be long enough to learn all He is, or to praise Him for all He has done, but then, that matters not; for we shall be always with him, and we desire nothing more." -Fredrick Faber

"NOW He (God) waits to show Himself in ravishing fullness to the humble of soul and the pure of heart."
"The instant cure of most of our religious ills would be to enter the Presence in spiritual experience, to become suddenly aware that we are in God and God is in us."
"God wills that we should push on into His presence and live our whole life there." -Tozer, from The Pursuit of God

-thanks to Kel for recommending this. :)

Christ is all

"O LOVER TO THE UTTERMOST,
May I read the meltings of Your heart to me
in the manger of Your birth,
in the garden of Your agony,
in the cross of Your suffering,
in the tomb of Your resurrection, 
in the heaven of Your intercession. 
Bold in this thought I defy my adversary,
tread down his temptations,
resist his schemings,
renounce the world,
am valiant for truth.
Deepen in me a sense of my holy relationship to You,
as spiritual Bridegroom,
as Holy Healer,
as sinners' friend.
I think of Your glory and my vileness, 
Your majesty and my meanness,
Your beauty and my deformity,
Your purity and my filth,
Your righteousness and my iniquity.
You have loved me everlastingly, unchangeably,
may I love You as I am loved;
You have given Yourself for me,
may I give myself to You;
You have died for me,
may I live to You,
in every moment of my time,
in every moment of my mind,
in every pulse of my heart.
May I never dally with the world and its allurements,
but walk by Your side,
listen to Your voice,
be clothed with Your grace,
and adorned with Your righteousness."

ASSURANCE

Almighty God,
I am loved with everlasting love,
clothed in eternal righteousness,
my peace flowing like a river,
my comforts many and large,
my joy lively with a knowledge of salvation,
my sense of justification unclouded.
I have scarce anything to pray for;
Jesus smiles upon my soul as a ray of heaven
and my supplications are swallowed up in praise.
If Jesus were not my righteousness and redemption,
I would sink into nethermost hell
by my misdoings, shortcomings, unbelief, unlove;
If Jesus were not by the power of His Spirit my sanctification,
there is no sin I should not commit.
O when shall I have His mind!
when shall I be conformed to His image?
All the good things of life are less than nothing
when compared with His love.
All the treasures of a million worlds could not make me richer,
happier, more contented,
for His unsearchable riches are mine.
One moment of communion with Him, one view of His grace,
is ineffable, inestimable.
But O God, I could not long after Thy presence
if I did not know the sweetness of it;
And such I could not know except by Thy Spirit in my heart,
not love Thee at all unless Thou did
love me, call me, adopt me, save me.
I bless Thee for the covenant of grace.

-This is from The Valley of Vision

It's a collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions. Amanda Lee gave it to me for my birthday. She had two copies and read from both so she gave me one. I love that she underlined and made notes in it and it's already warn. It's a treasure. There's something really awesome about reading through a book that's already been read through and marked up. It's humbling to see a glimpse into another heart that is in love with Jesus.

I know I haven't been posting much lately. I took a lil break but I'll be back soon. Hope you're all enjoying the new fall weather!

"My heart is steadfast, O God! I will sing and make melody with all my being!" Psalm 108:1

Kristene Mueller - Praise the Lord

"For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him. That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory." -2 Corinthians 1: 20

-more stories and info on Ethiopia to come.

Thank you Lazo, for being a vessel the Lord speaks through!

Here's his sermon reflecting on Ethiopia.

Thanks for posting this Kel!
An article on the importance of words and deed in mission. article here.
I am so incredibly thankful and blessed to have experienced being part of a group who prayed and shared the gospel as we served the people in Ethiopia.

Christopher Lazo's reflection on the trip to Ethiopia. I concur.

Back from Ethiopia

I’m currently in Seattle trying to process one of the more frantic months of my life.
I just returned from Soddo, Ethiopia, after leading a small team of college students to come alongside a gospel-centered ministry called the Mossy Foot Project. You can track some of the details of our trip on the team blog.
I want to point out three things that impacted me the most:
Radical opportunities
There are impoverished people everywhere who need the gospel in word and deed. This is the God-graced benefit of being born in a wealthy country: EVERYONE needs us. Since there is no shortage of needs in the world then, the mission should start with the call to a specific person(s) or place, and not be driven by the needs, which are endless. Even Jesus was called only to the lost sheep of Israel in the sovereign timing of His Father [Matt 15:24].
Radical moves of God
There are still miracles working in underdeveloped countries.

• We saw with our own eyes, as the blind eyes of a woman opened after WE laid hands on her (among others being healed)
• We experienced demonic oppression being broken
• Etc.

God is able to do “far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us” [Ephesians 3:20].
Radical people
I ran into people younger than me, who were in Ethiopia longer than me, and had no rushed plans to leave. What they did leave was the comfort of their own lives in posh California, and I couldn’t shake the fact that there are still people out there who want to live a servants life, and die a servants death for the glory of God.
I understand why… It’s because they found obedience to God to be much more fulfilling, breath-taking, and satisfying than sitting at home worrying about tomorrow. They no longer think of packing their bags as a loss, but as a blessing.
I think it was David Livingstone who once said “I never made a sacrifice.”
Of course, he sacrificed EVERYTHING for the call of God. But in his own perspective, he lost NOTHING of true value. Oh, how I desire to say “I never made a sacrifice” with authenticity.

My point: There are real opportunities for the works of God to be done by willing people everywhere.
So far, that tops any job description I’ve ever applied for.

ETHIOPIA

We are departing for Ethiopia today! I have been so blessed and covered in prayer by so many friends, family, and strangers! Thank you for those who are doing the 24 hour prayer and those who are praying on their own. We are praying that you will be abundantly blessed and drawn into deeper intimacy with Jesus!!! Can't wait to share all the good things God does!
Please follow us for updates and prayer requests at: realityinethiopia.com

This is a story my friend experienced and wrote. She encourages me and I wanted to share it cuz it had such an impact on me. Sorry for those who thought this was me. lol. nope, it's my friend. :)

I met Saul this morning

Gah I love Jesus.

I was up till 3 am last night packing for Ethiopia, and was back at it by 6am. By the grace of God, I had time to be with Him on the beach before work. As I sat down on the sand, a young guy passed by me, walking in the water, lugging a suitcase over his head. He caught my attention, and I prayed for him as he walked past.

I spent a lovely 20 or so minutes with God, then got up to head to work. During that 20 minutes I had watched as that same kid dropped his luggage on the shore, walked up to the water….and jumped in, clothes and all. (If you know me, you understand how stoked I am on that idea…hahaha) As I was watching, praying, and wondering why he was jumping in, the Lord revealed to me he was having a moment with Himself right then and there. I prayed that whether or not this guy knew Him, that God would speak to him and he’d know Him more.

As I got up to leave, the young man was swimming back into shore. The Lord made me acutely  aware of him in the corner of my eye, and I began to pray if I should speak a word to him from the Lord. I was due to be at work so I headed to my car, thinking that if he crossed my path that the Lord wanted me to talk to him. I drove out of the Carrillo lot, and saw him walking again from far away. I felt like God wanted me to talk to him but wrestled with it because I didn’t want to be late to work—especially on my last day before taking time off for Africa for two weeks. God had me turn around, and I parked back in the same lot. I began to pray, asking God what he wanted to do and say, praying he would make the opportunity for His will to happen, and that it would be easy (as far as approaching this guy, etc). I prayed for the young man, that he would KNOW God, that he’d know Him as his Good Shepherd. I prayed especially that God would show him what it means that He’s his FATHER.

At this point, the fellow was nowhere in my line of sight, but as I got out of my car I prayed the Lord would show me where he was if he wanted this conversation to go down. Walking up to the Carrillo Bathhouse, I saw him cleaning his feet off by the showers. I approached him, introduced myself, and learned his name. We’ll call him John. I just told him (as the Lord prompted me) that I was a Christian and had been talking to God on the beach. I told him when I saw him, the Lord prompted me to pray for him. As I prayed, I felt like God me to tell him that He loves him, He sees him, He’s with him, that He’s his Good Shepherd and Father.

This guy looks at me, quinting his eyes through the sun blazing behind me and says, “That is so.crazy. that you would come up to me and say that right now. As I was swimming I was thinking about God….whether or not He’s real….struggling with uncertainty. There’s alot of uncertainty in our lives you know, as people in general. That must have taken alot of courage for you to come up to me and say that. I’m glad you did.”

Over the next 15 minutes a Holy Spirit led conversation ensued. We got to know each other a little, him thinking out loud and asking questions, me speaking Scripture and words from the Lord as He led. Here’s some of the high points about his life:

-He grew up Mormon in Utah

-His view of God got screwed up during the required two year stint of service

-Alot of the confusion he had regarding God is from his dad (needs God as a FATHER!!)

I asked if I could pray for him, and he heartily agreed. Afterwards, I asked him if he had a Bible. He said no and the Lord told me to give him mine. (Eeeeek! I’ll be honest I reallydidn’t want to because it’s like a DIARY, you know-a record of the relationship between you and God, a log of your journey together. As stupid as it sounds, it was hard to let it go. But I have no remorse. God told me to, and there was such a rightness and a freedom when I did.)

In continued conversation I found out he’s been traveling (homeless) to find a COMMUNITY. He spent time with an Indian tribe in Washington, and is  looking for a commune now….sooo I told him about the love, belonging, and fellowship I’ve found within a group of college kids at my church. We call our gathering Adorn, but we’re just a bunch of 20 somethings who love Jesus and love each other. He wants to see what this community is like. He’s super humble and searching…just hungry for love and truth, for his MAKER. It is so evident that Jesus is AFTER this guy. He already did a work this morning, and I can’t WAIT to see what John’s relationship with God will look like in coming months.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I’ll be honest, I came SO close to brushing off the voice of the Holy Spirit telling me to talk to John this morning. My flesh subtley whispered destruction: “I’m tired God. I’m preparing for Ethiopia God. I just want to love and and be loved on by You, God—just some ‘us’ time.” Basically, “It’s about me God.” So wrong. So selfish. Disobedient. Not what He calls us to.

I’m so glad the Lord changed my heart to live by the “What if?!!” of HIS GLORY than of my comfort. Can you imagine if I hadn’t spoken to him? He might still be working through some uncertainty of whether or not God even EXISTS, not to mention if He is intimately involved in every area of our lives. Even now, John may still be wavering on the sea of doubt a bit, but I believe he caught a bigger glimpse of the reality of God this morning, and is now one step closer to walking in that reality.

Obviously, God is relentless in His pursuit of us and could’ve found another way to reach John. But, for whatever reason, He chose to use me this morning: a girl, sleep deprived, preparing to leave for Ethiopia, on the way to work….the odds weren’t favorable. But God had so intentionally planned this—-YEARS ago. I am so humbled. And amazed at how ready and stoked He is to use US to sow eternity if we just make our lives, our time, our hearts, our moments, our days available. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 Something my former youth pastor used to say has stuck with me for years: “In the Kingdom of God, there’s no off season.”  And that’s OKAY. Because when we embrace the reality that we exist for HIS GLORY—it’s a win-win situation. WE NEVER LOSE. If His Glory is our delight, then our hearts will always be steadfast. Because, as we know, His Light will shine when all else fades. He’s the only thing that’s eternal. 

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.  I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.” Philippians 3:7-11

“In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” 2 Timothy 4:1-2

“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…” 1 Peter 3:15

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:2-6

Via Ashley Stephen's blog:  http://ashleystephen.com/post/1004650064/i-met-saul-this-morning

Also....one more day until our team departs for Ethiopia!!!
See our blog at: realityinethiopia.com

Praise Jesus!

What an epic week Daisy’s having! I want everyone to know this, Daisy has so much energy, hasn’t barfed or complained of feeling pukey, no bone pain, just amazing, creative, feisty fun and love coming from her! We truly believe this is because of the power of Jesus through prayer and we are so thankful. When your baby has cancer, at least the days can still be fun and worry not be the seasoning of your days… Yesterday she built a pirate ship in her room, complete with a treasure chest full of midnight pirate snacks, sleeping bag (she spent the night in it) and lots of “aaargh”-ing. She deeply contemplated getting a monkey for a pet because that seems very pirate-y and the added bonus that “pet monkeys don’t fling poo like wild monkeys”. I considered her reasoning well thought out, but alas, my answer was no.

Here’s how we’re looking for the next couple of weeks:

We have big choices to make, and most of those big choices hinge on the results of her CT scan, scheduled for Friday September 3rd. We need wisdom, discernment, and confidence in our decisions. When you relapse, your treatment isn’t as cut and dried as the first time around. We are educating ourselves on our options as much as possible, praying and thinking our way through all of it. Pray that we make good choices for her.

If her CT shows the tumor has shrunk enough to resect, that thing is outta here! We will then have the tumor cryopreserved and sent to Israel to have a vaccine made from it which she will get when her treatment in LA ends. If her CT shows no shrinkage, they pull out even bigger Chemo guns. We are expecting shrinkage, praying for it, but this is what happens if that bugger of a tumor won’t budge. So, we’ll cross that bridge IF we come to it.

I have to say that although we know that her prognosis is poor, it has actually given me more hope. My hope in the last year has found many targets, a 90% cure rate the first time around, good health care, a Wilm’s relapse specialist, and Israeli technologically advanced medicie, but the bullseye is my God. He heals the lame, gives sight to the blind, raises the dead. He gives, He can take away, but He alone is where our hope lies. It’s a total relief, to be honest.

I just finished reading “Chasing the Dragon” by Jackie Pullinger, reminding me that the same Jesus who touched so many so long ago touches so many today. Page after page, I read about precious hurting people miraculously healed of so many afflictions. People who had made a mess of their lives, imperfect, selfish, sinful people. Kind of like me. He is so able… I’ve also read of Job, who endured much earthly pain, all while not understanding the reason or purpose. I don’t understand either…. Who can know the mind of God? He is so much bigger, so much more powerful, so much more… gnarly.. than I can even fathom. That’s whose hands Daisy’s life is in. We deserve nothing from Him, yet receive so much. Wow…

quotes

"We should measure affection, not like youngsters by the ardor of its passion, but by its strength and constancy." - Cicero 


"It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all." - Emmet Fox

"but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked" (1 John 2:5b-6)
"Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner" (John 5:19)

"I must be about my Father's business (Luke 2:45-49)- and I must learn to live every moment of my life in my Father's house. Is the Son of God living in His Father's house within me?
 Are you so closely identified with the Lord's life that you are simply a child of God, continually talking with Him and realizing that everything comes from His hands? Is the eternal child in you living in His Father's house? Is the grace of His ministering life being worked out through you in your home, your business, and in your circle of friends?  *You must allow Him to have His way with you, staying in perfect oneness with Him.
The life of your Lord is to become your vital, simple life, and the way He worked and lived among people while here on earth must be the way He works and lives in you." -Oswald (the man) 
*"The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and love them, even as You have loved Me" (John 17:22-23)

"Jesus answered and said to him, 'If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make Our abode with him'" (John 15:23)



This weekend was the Adorn Retreat (Reality's college group)! I love love love everyone who was there and I am so thankful for them!!! We learned and experienced the relationship of the Trinity being worked out in individuals and community. The Father includes us into the fellowship of the Trinity and the family of His Kingdom. Jesus submits to the Father with all love and honor. The Holy Spirit never draws attention to Himself, He only draws attention to the Father through the Son. Therefore we should include others, submit to one another with love and honor, and never draw attention to ourselves, always pointing to God. Alone, we cannot do this (we're naturally exclusive, prideful, self-centered), with the Holy Spirit, our whole being is transformed to do this and desire God's glory.

"One of the things Christianity was designed to do was to blow this idea to bits [the idea of Christianity as an exam or bargain]. God has been waiting for the moment at which you discover that there is no question of earning a pass mark in this exam or putting Him in your debt.
Then comes another discovery. Every faculty you have, your power of thinking or of moving your limbs from moment to moment, is given you by God. If you devoted every moment of your whole life exclusively to His service you could not give Him anything that was not in a sense His own already. So that when we talk of a man doing anything for God or giving anything to God. I will tell you what it is really like. It is like a small child going to his father and saying, "Daddy, give me sixpence to buy you a birthday present." Of course, the father does, and he is pleased with the child's present. It is all very nice and proper, but only an idiot would think that the father is sixpence to the good on the transaction. When a man has made these two discoveries God can really get to work. It is after this that real life begins"
. -Mere Christianity